


contradictions

by boxtactics



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Anal Sex, Canon Disabled Character, Kissing, M/M, Mentions of Big Boss, Porn With Plot, a lot of it, consent gang, kaz is still the world's maddest lad, mentions of Ocelot, mentions of The Boss - Freeform, mgsv spoilers, this is a love letter to venom, v's a softie we all know it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-13
Updated: 2019-01-13
Packaged: 2019-10-09 09:19:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17404229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boxtactics/pseuds/boxtactics
Summary: Kaz is slowly beginning to realize that his boss might not actually be his boss.





	contradictions

The first sign telltale sign was that he couldn't understand Russian. Even though Ocelot had said that shrapnel lodged in his head probably scrambled his memories, it was impossible to believe that he'd flat-out forget something so important to him. Something she had personally taught him. However, there were more giveaways than just that, albeit slight.

 

When the news that their commander had injured himself in a skirmish that had broken out on the command platform reached Kaz, he was genuinely surprised. Moreso by the way he had gotten injured: forcing one of the two soldiers to stab him in the chest.

 

_You hurt one of your own, you hurt me, huh? Not bad._

 

The message had gotten across and left an impact. He had even started returning to base more frequently to keep morale in check. His actions were a far cry from those of the John he used to know. No doubt he would have punched them senseless and promised worse if it happened again. John was a man who instilled both fear and admiration in his men in equal amounts, maybe even more of the former. These were definitely not the actions of someone who prioritized intimidation over all else.

 

Sometimes Kaz found him on the upper deck at sunset, doing nothing but listening to his Walkman and staring out at the Indian Ocean. If he could hear the other man's odd gait, he wasn't showing it. He always acknowledged both of his officers when he saw them.

 

 _Another discrepancy_.

 

What put the final nail in the coffin was when Kaz saw him smile. A bona fide, honest-to-God, smile. He thought he was alone. There was no one to use that smile on. The only thing John would have been thinking about if he were alone like that would be her, so there was no chance in hell he would be smiling. When he was finally spotted out of the corner of V's eye, he made the lackluster excuse that he was "just checking up on how construction was going" even though he knew that the next big project wasn't due to be completed for a few more weeks.

 

* * *

 

After another tiring day of supervising the R&D team, trying to dissuade two particularly rowdy newcomers from kicking up a stink, Kaz slumped down in his chair. He had only just sat down and already began pouring over the paperwork portion of assigning new soldiers to the staff sections that best suited their abilities. Or, more accurately, he tried to. To say that writing, or anything for that matter, was difficult with your non-dominant hand was a severe understatement. As he became more and more frustrated by the fact that he could barely even sign papers in his current state, Kaz thought back to the times when the potential imposter (or "not-John", as Kazuhira had dubbed him) had pulled him aside after staff meetings when he'd looked particularly disheveled and asked him, with genuine concern, "You holding up alright?" Kaz dismissed the question with a noncommittal affirmative every time, but he was always surprised to receive any sort of emotion besides pity when people asked how he was, no matter how he answered. He ran his good hand through his hair.

 

"Nothing about this--nothing about him--is right. None of it fucking adds up."

 

Fed up with how much and how deeply he was thinking about the fraud, he rose, intending to go directly to the source of his troubles.

 

He set out looking around Mother Base for him. Since his visits were so frequent, it was virtually impossible to avoid contact with V between 1700 and 2100. Kaz rounded a corner, half-expecting to run directly into the man in question, but found him on his usual perch, yet again gazing out to sea. Figuring that he reasoned he had done enough work for today based on his attire--a black scoop neck shirt and fatigue pants--Kaz approached the platform. Although he suspected he would go unnoticed as usual, the doppelgänger happened to be in between tapes the moment Kaz yelled a half-hearted "Boss?" in an attempt to get his attention. Hearing his moniker spoken by a voice he was fond of, by a certain man who had been avoiding contact with him completely outside of minimal advice on missions, made V promptly turn his attention towards his executive officer.

 

"Kaz. Something the matter?"

 

"No, I just," Kaz had to fight the urge to call him a dirty fake right then and there. He sighed. "Wanted to see you."

 

V chuckled and began to descend the small platform. "That's rare these days. Any reason why?"

 

Steeling himself, he decided to put this living, breathing contradiction to a test; the answers it could yield would be irrefutable. After a quick glance around, Kaz let his crutch clatter to the ground and swung his left arm around the back of V's neck.

 

"If you want," His voice had dropped down to a whisper, hot against his commander's ear. This tactic of his never failed to elicit a response from anyone, no matter where or when it was said, resulting in a countless number of sleepless nights with anyone who took the bait. Even though he hadn't endeavored to seduce anyone in recent years, being entirely too occupied with how his boss was fairing to have any tumultuous flings, he was still undoubtedly confident in his abilities.

 

"We could head back to my quarters? I know we haven't had the chance to spend any... quality time together since you woke up." Kaz loosened his hold around V's shoulder and slid his sunglasses down the bridge of his nose with his now free hand to look him in the eye. "What do you say?"

 

He did not receive an immediate reply, as the recipient of his hollow "affections" slowly stooped down to pick up Kaz's brace and gingerly placed it back where it belonged, giving his left hand a gentle squeeze after it was said and done.

 

"If that's what you want, Kaz."

 

 _You still got it._ He silently congratulated himself on a job well executed as they made their way to his room.

 

Almost immediately after the door was shut, Kaz had sandwiched V between the closed entryway and his own body, releasing his crutch yet again in favor of running his hand over the taller man's chest. Had the two of them not been against a solid surface, they would have definitely lost their balance due to the sheer power with which Kaz forced their lips together. V brought his right hand to the base of his XO's head and ran his tongue over his bottom lip, allowing the blonde to freely explore the inside of his mouth. Their tongues twisted and twirled in the shared space created by the confines of their lips.

 

_This feels absolutely wrong._

 

Kaz's mind raced with thoughts, varying from where he should go from there to the potential identity of the man he had currently pinned against a wall. Once he heard John's duplicate fail to stifle a moan that the original would never have let slip in the first place, he decided it was time to move on. Dropping to his knees as quickly as one can with a prosthetic leg, he started to unbutton V's pants with his only hand, fully intending to spitshine his dick.  _The faster this gets done, the better._ V obviously had a different plan in mind, seeing that he silently held Kaz back with a hand on his shoulder.

 

"We don't have to rush this."

 

That loaded sentence was enough to set him alight with rage. "Why the fuck are you telling _me_ this?! If you were your normal self," He rose to his feet without missing a beat. "I can guarantee that you would have had me bent over my own goddamn desk five minutes ago, provided you hadn't found someone to stick your fucking prick in the day before."

 

Kaz ripped his aviators off of his face and grabbed a fistful of V's shirt, forcing him to look into his clouded eyes. "I can't accept you like this. I won't accept you like this. Whoever you are," His chest began to tighten as his vision blurred, and his grip lost its strength. "Why don't you make sense..."

 

As Kaz was gradually breaking down, V brought his left hand to the back of his neck and rested his distressed sub-commander's head on his shoulder, wrapping his good arm around his back. He moved his knuckles along the small of Kaz's spine and pressed a kiss to his temple.

 

"I'm sorry, Kaz. I really am."

 

Upon hearing the apology that some part of him knew he would never receive from John, everyone's boss, _his_ Boss, the only reason he hadn't given up on living when he was still in Da Ghwandai Khar, dry sobs heaved their way out of his body.

 

 _He left me here? He abandoned me without a word? After all we had been through together? Did that mean jack shit to him?_ With every rhetorical question he asked himself, he found it more difficult to hold himself back, starting to splutter and snivel on V's shoulder as tears forced themselves out of his closed eyes.

 

Eventually, V moved Kaz from his position before he could start to hyperventilate, then seated the both of them on the bed, one of the only pieces of furniture in the room. It starkly contrasted with his own; despite it being smaller (V had insisted on the size, thinking the room originally meant for him to be too extravagant), it was packed with trinkets and "souvenirs" from missions he had completed, which were mostly rocks and the occasional small diamond as well as artsy soviet propaganda posters he had taken from outposts. A short bookshelf he had was filled with thick books on various topics, mostly in Russian, given to him by Ocelot and a few hand-drawn comic books some of the more artistically inclined Diamond Dogs had thrown together both for fun and as gifts on special occasions. The only table in his room was littered with cassettes and its sole drawer contained an 8-track tape with nothing save for the words "Party Mix" scrawled on it, which he received as an offhand present from one of the leading members of the intel team. Even his walls were scattered with photographs of his men, DD, his favorite thinking spots, and innumerable other subjects, giving his modest living space an extremely welcoming feeling. The only indications that someone lived in Kaz's room were the unmade bed and loosely organized files on his work desk, which left a bitter taste in V's mouth.

 

Trying not to let the dismal state of the room distract him from venturing to comfort Kaz, V swiped his right thumb over his cheek, feeling the wetness there. The younger man's eyelids were heavily swollen already, but he softly pressed his scarred lips over them anyway, leaving a trail of kisses from there, to the sides of his face, and finally to his mouth, brushing first against the left side, then the right. Much to his surprise, he hadn't been pushed away yet. V's tactic also seemed to be working, since Kaz's breathing had slowed greatly and he did seem more relaxed, at least physically.

 

"Kaz." V turned his head to face him, both now sitting fully on the bed. "Are you fine with this?"

 

He paused and cast his gaze downwards before answering. _Why does he care? It's not like I would have anyone to run and tell even if I really was entirely opposed to this._ "Yeah, I mean-- I don't want to be alone right now, you know?"

 

"Say it straight."

 

Kaz grimaced slightly and scoffed at his persistence. "For fuck's sake. Yes. Please don't leave."

 

The one good thing he could say about the copy was that he actually, honestly did care when it came to him. Mentally, he was nothing like the boss he once knew, for better or for worse. V rumbled appreciatively and put his bionic hand over Kaz's knee while he closed the distance between their lips once again. Unlike the vicious "kiss" he was given by the door, he was cautious, taking his time to ease Kaz. Beginning only with chaste, closed-mouthed pecks, V gradually set about lightly tugging at his lower lip and licking his tongue when he finally, hesitantly, leaned into the kiss. Having shed his jacket by the doorway made the process of undressing somewhat smoother, and, within a matter of seconds, V was in nothing but his bottoms and socks, working on undoing the strap that connected Kaz's artificial appendage to the last vestiges of his left leg. As he undid the buckle, he noticed that the skin underneath it had residual marks on it from how tightly it was clasped. He directed another question at Kaz while he massaged the irritated flesh of his leg, hoping to ease the discomfort, if only slightly.

 

"You're still alright?"

 

"What do you think?" It was clear that he was referring to his unattended erection, which less-than-subtly tented the pants V was going to remove after he was done in his temporary position. Notwithstanding the evident implication of Kaz's inquiry, he stared back blankly. _God, he's impossible._ "I'm ready," He rolled his eyes and sighed obnoxiously loudly before flopping back unceremoniously onto the sheets. "And willing."

 

V laughed warmly at his response and aligned himself on top of Kaz, his legs resting between his thighs. Slipping their mouths back together, V slid his tongue over his molars, along his gums, just about anywhere he could, with his actions being mimicked with enthusiasm by his partner. Kaz began to squirm as he moved on to his neck, lazily dotting it with love bites in no particular pattern, leaving him to wonder how exactly he was to cover them up, lest his subordinates start spreading rumors. When V sucked his jugular particularly intensely, he couldn't restrain the throaty moan that emerged from his lips. _Shit, this is actually getting to me._ Interpreting Kaz's increasing amount of poorly muffled whines and cries as encouragement, he moved lower, latching on to his left nipple with his mouth while simultaneously teasing its counterpart with his left hand and palming the man's clothed erection with his right. The sudden contact with the cold metal of V's prosthesis resulted in a sharp intake of breath from Kaz. A barely audible "Sorry" was practically buried under the sounds of ragged breathing directly above where he was comfortably situated on his lover's chest.

 

"Why don't you hurry up already?" His own voice sounded awkward and foreign to his ears, so Kaz thought it would be best to speak as little as possible, but he needed to bring some modicum of attention to the fact that, if V's assault on his chest continued for much longer, he would end up with a proverbial mess on his hands and a very literal mess in his pants. Unfortunately for him, the only sign he was even heard was a sharp bite to his areola, pressuring a loud whine out of his mouth.

 

Seeing no end in sight, Kaz took it upon himself to push V's head off of him so he could grab the nearly untouched bottle of lube in his nightstand and thrust it into his hand, out of breath.

 

"Seriously. Just start."

 

He watched with some trepidation as V uncapped it, letting the clear liquid inside drip over the skin of his index and middle fingers, undoing Kaz's button and fly with his unoccupied hand.

 

"Tell me if I'm doing something wrong."

 

With that request still lingering in the air, V pulled his pants and underwear off, beginning to slide his third finger steadily into Kaz's asshole. Closing his eyes and canting his pelvis towards the new source of pleasure, he bit down on his lower lip savagely.

 

"Shit, that's nice," V was already up to his third knuckle when he spoke up again. "Add the other."

 

Still intently watching his reactions, he did as Kaz demanded of him, receiving a sweet and breathy sigh for his efforts.

 

"It's good?" V widened the small gap between his fingers as he asked.

 

"I-- Yeah, it's really good." He had swung his arm over his eyes, now panting freely. Though he was not actively searching for it, a small crook of V's fingers tipped him off to where Kaz's prostate was, judging by the loud, shuddering gasp that echoed off the walls of the barren room. Based both on the sight of his still-hardening tool in conjunction with his loosened hole, V deemed him prepared for what was to come.

 

He didn't waste time unzipping himself and shuffling his pants off, not wanting to keep Kaz waiting. V returned to their former position, spreading some of the lubricant that remained on his fingers on his dick while parting the other's legs slightly with his thighs.

 

"Okay, Kaz. Let's get started." V's left hand flitted past his forehead to brush a stray hair away from his face.

 

"About damn time."

 

V guided it in with his right hand to make the initial entry easier, slowly pushing his cockhead into Kaz's ass. He squeezed down reflexively and tilted his hips into V's as best he could.

 

"If you stop right now to ask me a dumbass question I can and will kick you the hell out of here."

 

Knowing that there was no way he could follow up on his threat, V smiled slightly as he saw Kaz's face flushing more than it already had.

 

"Take me-- _haah_ \-- seriously, asshole..."

 

"I am."

 

He had bottomed out in Kaz moments prior, relishing the sensation of his tight walls enclosing his dick. V rolled his hips experimentally, gauging the response the action elicited. By the way his manhood jumped, it was easy to see that his ministrations from earlier were not in vain. Looking to get even more of a reaction from him, V repeatedly drove his hips into Kaz, aiming for the spot he had found with his fingers. The latter choked out a strangled yelp and arched off the bed. "Fuck, fuck, _fuck,_ " Between hiccuping breaths and mewls, he extended what remained of his right arm in V's direction.

 

"I don't think I'm gonna be able to hold out much longer--"

 

Compulsively, V leaned down and held their bodies together tightly wrapping his left hand around Kaz's back and his right around his dick, thumbing the slit. The new stimulation in addition to the momentum and angle with which V was fucking into him was too deep to smother the groans that forced themselves out of the pit of his stomach. His bleary, unfocused eyes caught V's attention, and he dipped his tongue into Kaz's open mouth as he continuously grinded into his prostate. _His beard tickles..._ The thought crossed his mind in an instant, but it replaced his loose self-reminder to swallow the saliva that had been pooling in the back of his throat. When V pulled away from the kiss to look at his face, he smiled at the sight he was greeted with; the unfocused eyes and wet, kiss-swollen lips of Kazuhira Miller.

 

"You're cute like this."

 

"S-shut up."

 

Kaz crossed his legs around V's lower back to urge him deeper, signalling his rapidly approaching orgasm. A loudening stream of expletives and wordless babble was all V could hear over the reverberating sound of flesh meeting flesh. Ultimately, Kaz bit viciously into his shoulder, head swimming as he came into the brunette's scarred hand. V followed suit soon after, unloading far in his rectum. The two stayed clutching each other for a few uncomfortably sweaty seconds.

 

"... I'm pretty sure some of that ended up in my lower intestine."

 

Embarrassed by his lack of self-restraint, V apologized and tried to lift himself onto his elbows.

 

"Sorry. It wouldn't be hard to wash up, I can--"

 

Kaz interrupted him by pressing his thighs around him and rolling them onto their sides.

 

"It's fine, it isn't like it was the worst experience of my life." He chuckled bitterly. "I guess I can call it payback for what I did to your shoulder and all."

 

After he called attention to it, he watched V swipe his right thumb over the fresh bite mark, noticing how it re-entered his field of vision with a smattering of blood on it. Kaz pulled a face. It was now his turn to apologize. Before he could get the words out, V began to laugh.

 

"Not an awful excuse to visit the med platform, huh, Kaz? Wonder what Frill Shark and the others will think."

 

The recipient of his playful quips folded his arms in a huff and turned on his opposite side, facing the wall.

 

"Real mature. I'm going to sleep."

 

Kaz knew that he would have entirely too much to think about once he awoke, so he resolved to beating himself to the punch, not wanting his mind to wander while he was up. Thinking it best to let him get his rest, V rose off the bed to collect his clothes while his second-in-command swiftly sunk into the deepest sleep he had achieved since being rescued.

 

* * *

 

Kaz woke up nine hours later with a towel underneath him. Sitting up, he noticed that his uniform was folded on his desk along with his glasses. His crutch and prosthetic were placed diligently beside his side of the bed. Once he had finished securing its belt, he hobbled to the spacious table, bracing himself on the wall. Only after he had completed the frustrating task of dressing himself did he notice a note by the desk's edge. Removing it from its resting place, Kaz scanned its contents.

 

_On a mission. Be back @ 0600_

 

"Does he think I'm a teenage girl? I could have figured that out on my own."

 

He pocketed the short memo anyway and continued his walk to the door. On his way to his office, Kaz strode past two soldiers more hurridely than he had to, attempting to hide the hickeys on his neck with the collar of his jacket. As soon as he was alone, he rested the back of his head against the cool metal of the door, willing himself to keep his mind on the work he had to finish. Subsequent to clearing his thoughts, Kaz made his way over to his work desk. He had a job to do, one that only he was able to execute in an efficient manner. Neither disappointment nor failure were options for him; he worked towards the betterment of his colleagues as well as the fulfillment of the dream he and John had shared. Even though he truly did feel deceived by the one person who meant everything to him, he was too far in to let over a decade of hard labor crumble. Reinvigorated by his miniature pep talk, he focused fully on the miniature Mount Everest of responsibilities resting in front of him.

  
  
  


Despite himself, Kazuhira Miller let a minute smile cross his face when he heard the sound of helicopter blades slicing through the air.

**Author's Note:**

> god sometimes kojima makes me want to curl up in a ball and cry my brain and the facts say miller was aware by ~mission 2 but my heart says he subconsciously internalised the fact in a good way at the end of mission 43 (shining lights, even in death) i've spent days scrutinising this and my brain started drooling 15 minutes ago thanks for coming to my tedtalk™ kudos are greatly appreciated


End file.
